Apps and the Big Bad Wolf

When Sweetpea was a baby I blogged like crazy.  The whole mommy thing sent my head spinning and the only relief I had was to write about it.  In the process I found the humor in everyday conundrums of planned parenthood and in turn this helped me to see the absurdity of getting hung up about certain unavoidable aspects of caring for a very small human.

For a few years all this writing went into a big word-bin until our daughter reached what I fondly like to refer to as the happy years, when she was off to elementary school.  Here in this new world where I was no longer the focus, she put on her uniform, got  busy with basic learning (my speed), made friends, liked and wore everything I bought for her, and earned a laudable reputation around school as a very polite child.  I took out my parental surf board and just rode the wave for a while.  

     Oh, don't get me wrong, I did a lot of parenting during this formative time, most of it involving flash cards, sharing tutoring duties with my math-minded husband, encouraging her to run for various leadership positions, win or lose, and forging heart-to-hearts about various girl dramas that were mild compared to some I'd heard of.  We even started age-appropriate conversations about boys and gender perspectives on intimacy and related (read how we get to sexual) relationships.  She wasn't that interested at first (boys are weird) but with brain development and the long onset to puberty she began to ask more questions and down the rabbit hole we went.

     Now the conversations with our daughter have become quite complicated because she actually has a mind of her own (surprise!) and these tricky menstrual-era minefields run the gamut from boy crushes to iPhone apps that she absolutely, positively, unequivocally must have.  Enter bad guys mom and dad, who still have a shred of hip and cool when it comes to most of the stuff she wants to talk about, but are decidedly mean and unhip when it comes to social media.  And dating. Specifically her relationships with apps or boys.

     I view with unabashed longing my friends who have daughters the same age (now 13) who have zero interest in the opposite sex.  Or in social media.  Where did we go wrong, I wonder?  She is a self-proclaimed geek but this is really just a ruse as far as I'm concerned.  She doesn't do chess clubs or science fairs but she is in the marching band and this is how she claims her geek membership.  In reality I don't think she fits the stereotype.  Not like my friend's eight year old who speaks four languages, plays bridge and collects coins.  His future seems pretty secure as someone who may rule the world, technologically speaking.  I'm not sure where our kid is going to end up - could be anywhere from her interest in forensic science to being a waitress.  It's currently a toss-up.

     But the complexities of boys and apps remain on the agenda.  Pretty much swings between the two.  I have seen a couple of really powerful videos on Facebook about girls who end up accidentally getting connected to a teenage predator using Kik or Snapchat, and the scary consequences of befriending someone they've never met.  Even in person Boys are equally mysterious as far as understanding their potential to inspire, and to harm.  When it comes to this subject we balance on a very delicate line - teaching Sweetpea how to navigate her connections safely and honestly. Which in Sweetpea's case is not in her control when it comes to dating because that's just off the table until she's at least a junior in high school.  Sigh!  She seems ok with the idea that this journey is still ongoing and I really believe she gets that she's just not there yet in terms of holding her own as far as dating goes.  And although I knew of girls in my junior high who were definitely doing more than canoodling with clothes on, I now find myself in the position of trying not to picture this with our little girl.

Yuk.

Apps are another story and for another day.  Who knew 180 friends was 'normal' on Instagram?

Confessions of a Reluctant Composter and the Yuck Factor

 What happens to all those fruit and vegetable peelings we discard every day?  You know, the slippery, somewhat unsavory leftovers that we routinely shovel into the garbage to mix it up like a giant party with everything else.  Californians may or may not put them in the green recycling bin reserved for garden cuttings but more likely not.  It’s because we have not been conditioned to come to terms with the millions of gallons of waste we routinely pour into an overcrowded and problematical landfill somewhere far, far away. 

A recent visit to my Canadian relatives was an eye-opener for those of us who see the kitchen trash can as a one-stop waste solution.  The Ontario government there mandates recycling, ok they can’t really mandate except for businesses and apartment buildings but they’ve made it very easy to do by supplying all the necessary equipment for home kitchens.  Very high tech – a divided recycling bin for paper and plastic, and a small white lidded, under-the-counter container for organic waste. Recycling has become serious business in Canada after years of buy-in and behavioral conditioning. Almost everything paper or plastic is recyclable but if you put the wrong thing in your blue bin you get a note from the garbage collector with the offending item or items left behind. Organic waste goes into the under-counter container with a plastic liner and these and are collected curbside too. Interestingly, these containers did not smell, even when full. It was hard for me to remember what went where at first but eventually it became second nature.

The challenge here in the Southland is what to do we do with our recyclables when all we get is one giant blue and one green bin with very little explanation as to what is deemed recyclable and what is not? And no, a pizza box complete with globs of cheese and pepperoni stuck to it does not qualify.  In fact, most commercial recycling companies that purchase paper and plastic to ship around the world refuse our recyclables – they call it a ‘dirty stream’ because we put so much junk in with the good stuff.  And the very idea of a kitchen container for all those wet peelings seems foreign to us, and decidedly unsanitary.  I tried for a while to use a lidded ice bucket on the counter where I put all the peelings but every time I opened it the smell was, shall we say, hardly worth the effort.  Then there were fruit flies and even the occasional maggot invasion which was not for the faint of heart.  Still I plowed on, dumping my container in the green bin and wondering if it was really going to end up somewhere useful.

On my last visit to Ontario I discovered a composting system that the Japanese manufacturer, Bokashi, calls the ‘urban composter’.  My gardening cousins use it in their home and after a short lesson I found it online once I’d returned to Los Angeles.  This system uses a square plastic container that holds about 3 gallons and has an airtight lid.  A slotted shelf about a third of the way down allows for the liquids to pass through where it can be collected from the spigot and cup provided.  Layers of fruit and vegetable peelings, and even cooked meat and cheese, are added whenever there is a sufficient amount and then covered with a sawdust-like material that is provided. This material contains beneficial bacteria to break down the waste and to prevent odors.  A special spatula is used to compress the layer to get out any air and then the lid is popped back on.

When closed, there is no smell and the container is small enough to be kept in the kitchen or laundry room.  So far no fruit flies or maggots, and I’ve already collected what the company calls ‘compost tea’ from the spigot and put on my newly planted vegetable garden.  It takes about two weeks after the bin is filled for the compost to be ready  to put on your garden and then you start again.

There are larger versions for outdoors but the kitchen version is manageable for the first-timer.

With this model there is no giant and intimidating behemoth of a composter out back that you have to rake and shovel.  Just a simple, compact system that is both convenient and practical.  Now I know that everything I use is coming back to us in one form or another, nourishing strawberries, raspberries, tomatoes, and lots of herbs.  Satisfaction, guaranteed.

To check out Bokashi products click here:
http://store.bokashicycle.com/Household-Composting-Bins-Fermenters_c_17.html